yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
