i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
