yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize