Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
