im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
