i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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