So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
