It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
