He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
