If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That accounts for only three of the penises
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
