Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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