i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
