I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
