I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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