you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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