Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She's the barista slut.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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