just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
