So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
