who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
