none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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