lets start a swedish sibling band together
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
