Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
