return my video game
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
