No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
