my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
