she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
