I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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