woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
