where am i from again
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
