I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
