I wish my penis had an off switch
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
