if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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