: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
