I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Green mimosas i think yes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
