Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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