I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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