did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
