Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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