i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
