Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
