I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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