you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
