She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
