Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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