did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
