Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
