Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
