hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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