She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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