Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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