we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
