Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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