I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
